the art of the pill

i’ve learned to fly and
forgotten, wings never meant
for such grand things. i’d
take you home but then
i’d be giving myself away. night
the only time of day for such a
flagrant, unprotected play. maybe
more than this, maybe more
than one way, but all the others
ain’t worth talking about. stay here
tonight and pretend
not to understand me.
this is how a young man can be
broken: five easy steps, just
five simple steps. go slow
past the drawers. take the pill
and swallow.
then count to five
and count it done.

feelings

feelings: listed
alphabetically, one
page, front and back,
double-
spaced, two inch
margins, Times
New Roman, 12
point font. thoughts:
one-sentence answers,
in the space provided,
written clearly and
legibly, blue or black
ink, not pencil. fill in
circles completely, do
not leave any stray
marks. make sure to
answer all questions
fully to the best
of your knowledge.

keep

a friend, a true one (if
such a thing) when falling:
breathing normal, lather,
rinse, repeat. grudges don’t
hold—don’t hold them
back. hold forward arms for
embrace; openness ever. repress
feelings (if such things) when
feeling hopeful. happiness ever
when far away—lies. learn to
ignore, to have enough. How To
Keep. time goes by; a good
friend is hard to keep; lather,
rinse, repeat. remember at
least three times daily, or
at most one time every
other week: birthdays,
papers (words words
and etc., so on, so
forth), communi-
cation is key (if
such a thing), and when
all else fails, ignore sinking
feelings (when such things),
and always remember to
sleep, wake, repeat.

scene

the opposite of twilight:
a paint-by-numbers sunrise,
norman rockwell realized by a
sleepy computer screen; faces
wide, white, and open; thinking
in digits: how long, how many,
how much do you make? a scene,
a scene i do not want, filled with
background noise bought and
paid for, brought forward in the
most cumbersome, classless
fashion to the foreground,
fake and catastrophic. a
hole to drown oneself in:
deeply drinking, drunk, and don’t
dare question the bitter, biting
aftertaste when you swallow.
this is the scene: this is the new
world, brought to you by levi’s,
brought to you by nike, brought
to you by budweiser, brought to
you by yourself, brought upon
yourself, bought and paid for by
yourself. faces wide,
white,
and open, while the world
closes unrelentingly in upon you.

nyc return

i couldn’t even
     keep
a week
          away.
my city, o my city:
     skyscrapers piercing clouds,
     a sense of having fallen down
     and crawling through the gutters.
couldn’t keep
          a week
     away.
my city new york, my manhattan
and my brooklyn. o my city:
     handwritten cardboard signs,
     homeless and cluttered and tagged;
     antagonizing always and often drugged.
my city new york, my city manhattan:
i could not stay away from you
     for more
          than six days at a time.
o my city.

crete

concrete smell doesn’t.
isn’t is a woman there
flat upwards and, faces many.
ringing machine metal of, concrete
smell not. concentrate oranges not,
distracted don’t sorry. sorry am.
picasso faces eye eye this is eye.
propaganda isn’t, want no

not please. grass off keep. off
keep. keeps here, keeps well statue.
stone stone stone. belief where here
not. ever phone ever computer ever art never.

talk laugh eat piss jocelyn talks, talks
a lot. name used check welcome. check:
welcome. ugly not eye ewe emu none.
none emu animal here. stone stone
stone. colors dead dead eye. class back
room back.

poets ain't got no change, brother.
poets—don’t write nothing at all.
stand back, let it all be. what size
(oh brother)
of shoe do you wear?

the machine

his wheels relentless crushed everything crushed in path of theirs.
theirs of his like gargantuan spikes spokes fists on unrelenting.
repentance never deflected sentence never relenting.
pent up lines no eyes no time. like cold steel metal. like cold.
like fleshing never ever ever never.
iron arms steel titanium alloy allay alloy fear.
relenting never reflecting defecting deflecting repent.
repent repent repent.
blue eyes steel glasses perception of. inception ever never.
piston iron alloy gut oil in. never fear ever.
oil leaks leaking oil toil on.
wheels steel air up in, up in. spin. spinning.
spin spin air up in, only ever ever.
never—ever—once—twice—yes.
yes yes no yes no. no. no.
ever? never.