ago (missing)

nine-fifteen morning in, ago.
halfway opendoor hallway, waiting.
she, upwardlooking at me.
tearineye no smile and awkwords falling.
she awoken early to say.
darling first and goodbye later.
first-time cityleaving, feeling heavy.
nother interrupter stopby, meeting.
loveinversion not on horizon then.
halfway hallway, open door, foot in.
closeddoor kiss, morning softer then.
goodhair smell, tastewet tongue.
missing, betterknowing, wishful.
wistful person, even now evening in.
now summerbeach town and empty bed.
empty summerbeach calls no names.
yorkmissing now, and every one in it.

poem on the back of a chinese menu on a saturday afternoon in washington square park

the blackbird breathes your sootsoaked air,
flying in twisted diagonals beneath the greenest
trees comprising your inimitable beauty.
the pigeon pushes pink feet to red brick with
hardened tufts of grass springing up between.
the humans seem happier here; there is one
who can be seen slowdancing to your silent song,
seemingly entranced until, stepping aside, stops.
the square sings soft, subtle lullabies, and those
who are lucky are lucky enough to hear them.

yorkleaving

eightfortyfive goodbye wave, outside,
glancedback tearineye smile; watcher
at window lifted fingers in response: last
of them, but for him. nother non
company kept, nineohfive laughing
sighed: goodbye. me-and-he then, to-
get-
her came tenfifteen some mo(u)rning
yearagone, leavetaking now: different.
first ninetwenty failcatch train, afraid,
on purpose. person one, persons
two, personal, wordless. foodfed yet
full—killclock, sinkingpit stomach. wit’s
end. fourthirteenseventhirtytwoohonepast-
midnight when everything placefallen
into: sad, so soon after. tenohtwo train
on, he fell sleepdead, i awake. uppicked by
one unbegun: envy, undersurf. yorkleaving
difficult, insecure, broken. spokenwords fail.

Houses of Decay

Fray, seen plainly in the facial lay:
a stray whisker here, an unlovely lump there:
fabled fortunes falling freely, and away
and downward is pulled the face,
loose flaps of skin sinking
limply toward the chin:

o unhealthy epiderm!
o weaver of Fate! champion of Faith!

Mine, his and all: we’ll all fall
eventually, our faces failing and then the traces of us,
disentigrating (down, down, down), done in by dozens
of dramas and doleful dirges drowning us in ugly afterthoughts.

O, if only, (birth until death); o,
if once, if never, but no and no
and (o,
f
o
r
e
v
e
r) no.

the art of the pill

i’ve learned to fly and
forgotten, wings never meant
for such grand things. i’d
take you home but then
i’d be giving myself away. night
the only time of day for such a
flagrant, unprotected play. maybe
more than this, maybe more
than one way, but all the others
ain’t worth talking about. stay here
tonight and pretend
not to understand me.
this is how a young man can be
broken: five easy steps, just
five simple steps. go slow
past the drawers. take the pill
and swallow.
then count to five
and count it done.

feelings

feelings: listed
alphabetically, one
page, front and back,
double-
spaced, two inch
margins, Times
New Roman, 12
point font. thoughts:
one-sentence answers,
in the space provided,
written clearly and
legibly, blue or black
ink, not pencil. fill in
circles completely, do
not leave any stray
marks. make sure to
answer all questions
fully to the best
of your knowledge.

keep

a friend, a true one (if
such a thing) when falling:
breathing normal, lather,
rinse, repeat. grudges don’t
hold—don’t hold them
back. hold forward arms for
embrace; openness ever. repress
feelings (if such things) when
feeling hopeful. happiness ever
when far away—lies. learn to
ignore, to have enough. How To
Keep. time goes by; a good
friend is hard to keep; lather,
rinse, repeat. remember at
least three times daily, or
at most one time every
other week: birthdays,
papers (words words
and etc., so on, so
forth), communi-
cation is key (if
such a thing), and when
all else fails, ignore sinking
feelings (when such things),
and always remember to
sleep, wake, repeat.

scene

the opposite of twilight:
a paint-by-numbers sunrise,
norman rockwell realized by a
sleepy computer screen; faces
wide, white, and open; thinking
in digits: how long, how many,
how much do you make? a scene,
a scene i do not want, filled with
background noise bought and
paid for, brought forward in the
most cumbersome, classless
fashion to the foreground,
fake and catastrophic. a
hole to drown oneself in:
deeply drinking, drunk, and don’t
dare question the bitter, biting
aftertaste when you swallow.
this is the scene: this is the new
world, brought to you by levi’s,
brought to you by nike, brought
to you by budweiser, brought to
you by yourself, brought upon
yourself, bought and paid for by
yourself. faces wide,
white,
and open, while the world
closes unrelentingly in upon you.

nyc return

i couldn’t even
     keep
a week
          away.
my city, o my city:
     skyscrapers piercing clouds,
     a sense of having fallen down
     and crawling through the gutters.
couldn’t keep
          a week
     away.
my city new york, my manhattan
and my brooklyn. o my city:
     handwritten cardboard signs,
     homeless and cluttered and tagged;
     antagonizing always and often drugged.
my city new york, my city manhattan:
i could not stay away from you
     for more
          than six days at a time.
o my city.

crete

concrete smell doesn’t.
isn’t is a woman there
flat upwards and, faces many.
ringing machine metal of, concrete
smell not. concentrate oranges not,
distracted don’t sorry. sorry am.
picasso faces eye eye this is eye.
propaganda isn’t, want no

not please. grass off keep. off
keep. keeps here, keeps well statue.
stone stone stone. belief where here
not. ever phone ever computer ever art never.

talk laugh eat piss jocelyn talks, talks
a lot. name used check welcome. check:
welcome. ugly not eye ewe emu none.
none emu animal here. stone stone
stone. colors dead dead eye. class back
room back.

poets ain't got no change, brother.
poets—don’t write nothing at all.
stand back, let it all be. what size
(oh brother)
of shoe do you wear?

the machine

his wheels relentless crushed everything crushed in path of theirs.
theirs of his like gargantuan spikes spokes fists on unrelenting.
repentance never deflected sentence never relenting.
pent up lines no eyes no time. like cold steel metal. like cold.
like fleshing never ever ever never.
iron arms steel titanium alloy allay alloy fear.
relenting never reflecting defecting deflecting repent.
repent repent repent.
blue eyes steel glasses perception of. inception ever never.
piston iron alloy gut oil in. never fear ever.
oil leaks leaking oil toil on.
wheels steel air up in, up in. spin. spinning.
spin spin air up in, only ever ever.
never—ever—once—twice—yes.
yes yes no yes no. no. no.
ever? never.

rush

in sugar in, of of in when i was
a boy, sugar, in sugar
in candy in life my sugar
happier then happier when
sugar was, sugar was: everything,
things in then simple when. was
happier but focus no focused
not on big things. things big
now and smaller, smaller but
sugar good, sugar good in coffee
in soda in cookie, sugar in. i
was sugar then when i was
a kid. kids sugar in, sugar
kids in. now more bitter.

Hands

again. Remember, I, that after-
noon you hands looked
at. Hands looked at hands.
Eyes hands look. Mine
rough, lines. Rough lines
mine. Smooth yours, touched
nice so nice. Eyes hands at
looked. Your eyes. Mine
rough. Hands smooth
rough eyes, whys,
answers don’t.

Hands looked at eyes
touched at hands.
Yours mine never

belief system

church sunday going, easter
eastern western every
one of us. going to confess,
yes, going gone going yes,
every

one of us. the state hate
god faith in, sunday eastern
easter yes. western no. god
gold sold for no, oh so
precious pearls and pearlous
precious. more than gold, more
than told; old: god.

for the camera

say want look me better the
camera for. hair part leftwardly.
eight sleeps hours nightingly. face
arrange north south to, directerly
lotion apply. applyment lotion
directerest of. of of of of. direct.
things all and big small detail to
attention. frowner not say and
parmesan. provolone and no
smile frown not. please down
upside frown. pleaserly cherry. top
hair comb part sleep eighterly lotion
directer small big smile not frown
cheese:

say cheese and smile wide.